Go Back Where You Came From (for Beverly)

Contributed by poet/author Tony Robles

Go back to the mountain
Of your heart
Carved with your poem
Your story

Go back to the
Skin scarred
Soil of your name
Before the teachers
Mispronounced it

Go back to the
Strong smell of who
You are, lingering in
Pots and pans smouldering
In the fire that is you

Go back to when
Your words betrayed
Your throat in
A shadow of shame

And somebody
Else’s laughter

Go back and get it
Back, whatever it is
Or whatever it isn’t

Go back to your face

Will it
Recognize you?

Go back
Where you came from

Is it everywhere,
No where?

Go back

(C) 2019 Tony Robles

BIO:  Tony Robles – the People’s poet – was born in San Francisco. He is the author of two books of poetry and short stories, Cool Don’t Live Here No More – A letter to San Francisco and Fingerprints of a Hunger Strike. His poem, The Beekeeper, was featured in Where Are You From?: An Anthology of Asian American Writing. Tony was awarded the San Francisco Arts Commission Individual Literary Artist grant 2019-2020. He has worked as a tenants’ rights advocate and served as board president of Manilatown Heritage Foundation, following in the footsteps of his uncle, the late Manilatown poet Al Robles. Tony currently lives in North Carolina where he is working on his first novel.

“Where From … ? Go Back … !”

When our Asian American activist group put together the anthology, Where Are You From?, we decided that the question we are often asked would make a good title for our book because it expressed many of our experiences as AAs in America. The question can be interpreted in many ways, depending on who is asking and how they are asking the question. It can be interested. Wary. Looking for reasons to accept or reject. Befriend or report to the authorities. The question might make us feel like The Other, as not belonging even though many of us are American citizens. Sometimes we choose to believe that the question is asked as a chance to explain ourselves. Sometimes we walk away from the question feeling resentful that we are obligated to prove that, even though we aren’t White, we still have a right to be in the United States, too.

Recently, we are having to confront a less opaque “threat” when we hear the directive, “Go back to where you came from!” The person saying this has already pronounced judgment on the Other. They have closed their minds to hearing our stories. Today, it is even more important that we share our stories* so people will see us as fellow human beings with the same feelings, wants, and needs. I think most of us feel terrible when people say insensitive things to and about us that imply that we are inferior to them and don’t “belong.” We all want to make good lives for ourselves and our families. We want to belong and be accepted for who we are and what we bring to those around us. We want to live in a peaceful world which will allow us to make these “good lives.” I have a hard time understanding those who tell others to “Go back to where you came from!” because, as a citizen in a nation built by immigrants, doesn’t this mean we all (including the person making that demand) have to leave the United States? Doesn’t this mean only Native Americans have a “right” to be here, if we base this “right” on origin?

In some ways, “Where are you from” and “Go back to where you came from” ask the same “origin” questions. Is Origin:

  • Where our Original ancestors were born? What if they mostly lived somewhere other than where they were originally born?
  • Where we, ourselves, were born? What if we mostly lived somewhere other than where we were originally born?
  • Where we are now citizens?
  • Where we live now even if we are not yet citizens?

When we move to another place, it’s never without a lot of anxiety and difficulties… but I have a feeling that most people move because they want better lives and are willing to risk everything. That is why my grandparents moved to Hawaii from Japan. That is why my husband and I moved to Oregon from Hawaii. Is that such a bad motivation? Isn’t that how progress is made? By people wanting better lives for themselves and their children?

The immigration issue is very complex. But it seems to me that the screening at our borders could be simplified if we ask different questions of those wanting to be admitted to our country. Questions such as:

  • Why do you want to live in the United States?
  • Do you know anyone in the U.S. who can help you until you are on your feet?
  • What kind of work can you do if admitted to the USA?
  • Will you promise to be a good person while in the USA (and if you do something bad like rape, kill, torture or maim another human being, then you can be deported … and to be fair, maybe any American who does any of these things can be deported to the country their ancestors came from if it’s decided that ancestral origins define where we came from)?
  • And are you a human being (as opposed to an alien from another planet – although, perhaps one day, we may need to be open to them as well if they will help us with the multitude of problems we are creating for ourselves, our country, and our planet … )?


Valerie Katagiri is co-editor of Where Are You From: An Anthology of Asian American Writing and coordinates the web-blogs for the book’s related AsianAmericanWriting.com website. She would love to hear your stories.

* Email Valerie at info@asianamericanwriting.com if you have personal stories and essays (and videos, art, poems, etc) that you want to share with our readers.

Repatriating Myself: Becoming Asian American

Contributed by special guest writer, Michelle Hicks, as part of our collaboration with APANO (see organization description at end of this blog)

Correcting my mother’s emails and work announcements almost every day was tiring. She called me every day at all hours, saying that her request was very important and I should not let her down. Everyone will see her communication, so it is best not to mess up. Growing up, I was always annoyed with her because this responsibility fell to me, a 10-year-old. I saw how people treated her, felt how inconvenient it was for me to incessantly proofread every single document she produced, and was angry that I was the translator of important documents. Moreover, I saw how she got passed over for promotion countless times because of my failures to translate well enough. I just did not understand why she did not just try harder to improve her English and do it herself.

As a result, I never wanted to be “that Korean” who couldn’t speak English or who was stuck at a dead-end job. I wanted to be the “American Dream” my mom hoped for. As a misguided kid, this meant the rejection of everything it means to be Korean outside of my house. I tried with every fiber of my being to reject my heritage and who I was in order to assimilate. I spent extra time doing my English homework so I could learn what good grammar was. I begged my mom for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches instead of jigae or other homemade meals she made with love.

In these moments, I didn’t realize how much Whiteness I had internalized or how entitled I was to believe that I was better than where I came from. My mother has given me everything, food, an education, and love, and with that I bought into the myth of “pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps.” In my mind if she just “tried harder” and did more, then we could have the coveted Dream; however, upon entering high school, I realized how much my mother had done for me and how “trying harder” was impossible because she was already doing everything she could to make my sister’s and my lives better. She had carried her dreams across an ocean for us and pushed us to take advantage of the incredible opportunities that she didn’t have when she was our age.

Only then was I able to take the necessary space to fully understand how common my experience of proofreading parents’ emails and other communications is in the Asian American community. For the first time, I found a kinship in my community, because I was finally able to feel a unity in our shared experiences and understand a solidarity in our struggle for a better future. By seeing others who were my age unabashedly unafraid to be themselves, Asian and all, I finally could feel comfortable with myself. I started the long process of repatriating myself. Now, I am more freely speaking our language, practicing our customs and traditions, and connecting with my mother. It led me to become passionate about inclusion, equity, and the issues that affect the Asian American community and other communities of color. Though this realization has taken me almost a decade and a half, I am finally learning to be Asian American.

Bio: Michelle Hicks is the Census Intern at APANO. She is originally from San Jose, CA, and is Korean American. She is a senior at Willamette University and upon graduation will receive a Bachelors of Arts in Politics with minors in American Ethnic Studies and Spanish. Michelle is passionate about political engagement, civil rights, and human rights and hopes to cultivate a more equitable Oregon.


APANO: Established as a 501c3 nonprofit in 2010, the Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon (APANO) is a statewide, grassroots organization uniting Asians and Pacific Islanders to achieve social justice. We use our collective strengths to advance equity through empowering, organizing and advocating with our communities. APANO’s strategic direction prioritizes four key focus areas: cultural work, leadership development, community organizing, and policy advocacy and civic engagement. Through APANO’s arts and cultural work, we create a vibrant space where artists and communities can envision an equitable world through the tool of creative expression. We strive to impact beliefs, center the voices of those most impacted and silenced, and use arts and cultural work to foster unity and vitality within our communities. Learn more about APANO on our website and read more writings by APANO members on Medium.

Still Making Trouble

“Dance rock band front man Simon Tam sought to trademark The Slants. His aim was to reappropriate a term long used to disparage a minority group and to render the term a badge of pride. All of us agreed.”

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Contributed by Anthology author, Simon Tam

What do people do after they’ve won a landmark Supreme Court case that has essentially derailed their life’s work in the arts? For me, I’ve spent the last two years sharing that story in hopes of inspiring others to become civically engaged and to be more intentional about the kind of art that they’d like to create.

I can’t believe that it’s been a couple of months since my memoir, Slanted: How an Asian American Troublemaker Took on the Supreme Court, was released. Since then, I’ve been traveling across the country presenting this story and engaging in thoughtful conversations with activists throughout the country. This has been especially meaningful because it’s been providing me with an opportunity to share the new nonprofit that I’ve started with others to help provide scholarships and mentoring to Asian American artists who’d like to incorporate community-driven activism into their work.

I’ve always had conflicted feelings about publishing my book. Part of me feels that my story is important and needs to be shared (probably why I travel so far and wide doing so). But another part of me is filled with the seeds of doubt planted by the many publishers and editors who told me that my book wasn’t worth releasing for a number of reasons: there’s no Asian American marketpeople don’t care, you’re not known enough. One publisher told me, “We already have an Asian writer.” Yes, I did use their critical feedback as further motivation to finish my book … but sometimes that negativity creeps up in those moments of self-doubt.

Recently, I had a live interview on PoliticKing with Larry King and I had an incredible review in the Washington Post that called the book fascinating, compelling, and important. And, there have been other interviews and reviews with NBC NewsKOIN Newsthe Model Majority podcastthe WGN Morning ShowQuartz, and more. Readers have told me how much my story has meant to them. I’ve been able to bridge gaps, especially with those who have misunderstood my work or approached it with misguided assumptions. I’m told more reviews are coming. Does it feel like some vindication for the early feedback I received? In some ways, yes … because, I am truly excited, humbled, and grateful for everything. Whenever anyone wants to interview me for a story or requests a book for review, I’m still pleasantly surprised. According to several book publishers, this book wasn’t supposed to make it. Yet, here we are making it. Changing the landscape. Hopefully changing assumptions about Asian American authors and stories. One review and interview at a time. Showing that our stories matter. Making trouble.

BIO: Simon Tam is an author, musician, activist, and troublemaker. He is best known as the founder and bassist of The Slants, the world’s first and only all-Asian American dance rock band. He is the founder of The Slants Foundation, an organization dedicated to providing scholarships and mentorship to artist-activists of color.

Simon has been a keynote speaker, performer, and presenter at TEDx, SXSW, Comic-Con, The Department of Defense, Stanford University, and over 1,200 events across four continents. He has set a world record by appearing on the TEDx stage 13 times. His work has been highlighted in over 3,000 media features across 150 countries including The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, NPR, BBC, New York Times, and Rolling Stone.

In 2016, Simon joined President Barack Obama, George Takei, Jeremy Lin, and other celebrities in the #ActToChange campaign to fight bullying. He recently helped expand civil liberties through winning a unanimous victory at the Supreme Court of the United States for the landmark case, Matal v. Tam, in 2017.

He has received many accolades for his work, including: “The Mark T. Banner” award from the American Bar Association, the “Hugh M Hefner First Amendment Award,” “Milestone Case of the Year” from Managing IP Magazine, the “Lifetime Achievement Award” from the Ovation Gala, and “Distinguished Alum Award” from Marylhurst University.

In 2019, he published his memoir, Slanted: How an Asian American Troublemaker Took on the Supreme Court. You can purchase it wherever books are sold and read excerpts at www.slantedbook.com

I Walk in the Steps of Those Who Came Before

Contributed by special guest writer, Margie Tang-Oxley, as part of our collaboration with APANO (see organization description at end of this blog)

I am from a small gold-mining town in Northern California called Grass Valley. According to the 2010 U.S. Census, there are 12,860 residents of Grass Valley; 188 identify as Asian and 11,493 identify as white. My mother and I are two of those 188. We are also two of only three in my family who live in the United States. The year I graduated from high school, there was one other Asian American enrolled in my school of 784 students. I was the only student who was Chinese American. Growing up, I fixated upon these numbers, feeling the pressure of these statistics weighing on me. I would think to myself over and over again, “My actions are responsible for 50% of the Asian American representation here.” I felt that whatever I did would define who Chinese Americans were in this community. These numbers surrounded me like the bars of a cage,  a constant reminder of my cultural isolation.

When I graduated from high school, I moved to Portland, OR to study history at Reed College, focusing in particular on Chinese American history. I saw this course of study as a way to free myself from the cage I was in. Even if I was the only Chinese person from Grass Valley, CA, the knowledge of those who shared my experience as an American of Chinese heritage would be my key to freedom — freedom from the crushing Otherness I had felt for so long.

However, as I studied, I began to notice in book after book, in article after article, in lecture after lecture, that the name “Grass Valley, CA” appeared. And once I noticed the name, I saw it everywhere. Suddenly I saw Chinese Americans visiting Grass Valley, spending their youth selling cha siu baos in Grass Valley, panning for gold in Grass Valley, running laundries in Grass Valley. And finally, I saw it: There was once a large Chinatown in Grass Valley. A Chinatown so large that in the second half of the 19th century it contained over 3,000 residents. Grass Valley is a historic town, and so the streets and shop fronts look largely the same as they did during the Gold Rush. Thus, the idea that there were once 3,000 Chinese people walking on the streets I had walked, running shops on the sites where I now shopped, left me speechless. I had never seen remnants of a Chinatown growing up, never learned about one in school, never saw mention of it in our local museum. Where was this Chinatown? Where had my people gone?

I kept reading and eventually learned that the majority of Chinese residents in Grass Valley had either died, left after economic prospects dried up, or were driven out of town by angry, white mobs. All that was left is a small plaque commemorating the site were this Grass Valley Chinatown had once stood. To this day, I’ve never been able to find that plaque. But now, whenever I go home, I no longer feel so imprisoned by my Chineseness among this white majority. When I walk around, I can feel the spirits of the Chinese Americans who came before me. I can feel the memory of their footsteps on the paths I take. I know that though I never met them, and that I never will, I hold their legacy within me. I carry the torch of the Grass Valley Chinatown that once was. Though in this moment I may be one of only 188 Asian Americans, I am also one of thousands that ever were. And when I remember that, I don’t feel so alone.

Bio: Margie was born and raised in Northern California and is a mixed-race second-generation Chinese American. She graduated from Reed College in 2018 with a degree in history. Her senior thesis focused on Chinese American cuisine and how restaurant owners created a sense of authenticity in their establishments during the Cold War. In Fall 2019 Margie will be starting a PhD program in Asian American History. In her free time she enjoys cooking and eating at local restaurants, reading, and spending time with her tiny dog, Chicken Combo.

APANO: Established as a 501c3 nonprofit in 2010, the Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon (APANO) is a statewide, grassroots organization uniting Asians and Pacific Islanders to achieve social justice. We use our collective strengths to advance equity through empowering, organizing and advocating with our communities. APANO’s strategic direction prioritizes four key focus areas: cultural work, leadership development, community organizing, and policy advocacy and civic engagement. Through APANO’s arts and cultural work, we create a vibrant space where artists and communities can envision an equitable world through the tool of creative expression. We strive to impact beliefs, center the voices of those most impacted and silenced, and use arts and cultural work to foster unity and vitality within our communities. Learn more about APANO on our website and read more writings by APANO members on Medium.

Learning to Eat

Contributed by special guest writer, Brian Liu, as part of our collaboration with APANO (see organization description at end of this blog)

When David Chang, in his scathingly honest Netflix cooking show, Ugly Delicious, asked a group of Asian chefs and food writers if, as kids, they wanted to be white, I didn’t expect to see everyone around the table raise their hands. I grew up in Honolulu, Hawaii, where Asians outnumber everyone, with Whites coming in a close second, and the native population limping behind all the other races with its permanently broken ankle. Growing up, all my close friends were Asian. But looking back, we already knew that the world didn’t belong to people who looked like us. At least not the world that seemed to matter, the world of beautiful thin white folk who were the heroes and champions in our imaginations and televisions. It was also around that time that my best friend, who is Japanese, started saying that he hated Japanese people. Jokingly, of course.

Grilled pork salad with thick rice noodles at Nam Giao.

In an episode of Ugly Delicious, Chang recounts how being a first-generation Asian American means existing nowhere. In the States, he is seen as a Korean first, even though he grew up in Virginia. And despite all the Korean food he’s cooked and eaten as a kid, he doesn’t speak the language and is treated like an American when he travels to Korea. He claims that his cooking is a byproduct of his alienation. I had to admit, watching David talk about his experiences around being Asian American, that being in the majority in Hawaii sheltered me from the constellating, reclaiming language that other minorities sometimes share. Instead we formed local identities, modeled ourselves after a culture handed down by the mixed-plate meals of plantation workers. Some of us who had inherited the tongues of our parents absorbed the culture our parents left behind, becoming more Asian than American. Most of us ended-up half-there half-not, our English a mix of mannerisms and slurs we had learned at the dinner table, school, the mall, the beach. The same friend who made anti-Japanese jokes commented on his frustration at barbershops. “All the haircuts in the books they have there are worn by these handsome white men,” I remember him saying. “It’s not gonna look the same on me. I’m fat. And Japanese.”

Many Chinese immigrants post-1960’s came from wealthy, educated, and cultured backgrounds. Hawaii is a perfect example of this. Other Asian families can trace their lineage back to plantation workers who toiled alongside other Pacific Islanders in the sugar industry. Then there are those like me, born in America, who have parents like mine. Parents who are well-intentioned and are — in the upward-mobile American-economic-striving sense — white.

Our complicity in the ongoing struggle between White and Black America is often understated. And so is the position we occupy. Think of Elaine Chao, wife of Senator Mitch McConnell, who recently defended her husband, famous for his obstructionist partisan polemics, from immigration protesters, saying of both McConnell and the President, “I stand by my man … both of them.” Chao is an immigrant from Taiwan. So are both of my parents.

Ugly Delicious is a portrait of our complicated American palettes, our messy lurching histories and the colliding intersections that create and destroy new flavors, new intimacies, and new forms of intolerance. In the rice episode, Chang interviews a Chinese chef whose menu caters to the Americanized Chinese palette: General Tso’s chicken, beef and broccoli. Chang asks the man, “This isn’t what you grew up eating. Why do you cook food you don’t eat for people who don’t look like you?” The man doesn’t miss a beat. “ … If Chinese people come in and want me to cook something that isn’t on the menu, I’ll cook it. But this is what White people want to eat. So that’s why it’s on the menu.”

In another episode, David Chang learns how to make dumplings from an elderly woman who reminds me much of my grandmother. I hated dumplings when I was young. But now, I remember the affection that accompanied the food. I remember my grandmother’s concern when I pushed the plate away. I wanted hamburgers not dumplings. And yet she would always push the plate back in front of me. “Please eat,” she would say, “I know you’re hungry.”

Shows like Ugly Delicious have me asking myself about where I speak from when I try to speak about race. It has me thinking about what it means to participate politically as an Asian American, to claim that identity for myself, to claim a right to that community and history, in a time where Race Politics and Immigration Policy continue to offer up disenfranchised minorities and communities of color as scapegoats for our collective problems. It has me wondering about the well-being of friends who might be asking questions about their gender identities and trying to cope with the pressures they face from their parents and the culture their parents come from.

I am a student of Hanif Abdurraqib when he writes, “Even now, I’m not as invested in things getting better as I am in things getting honest.” The truth is that a lot of us have excused ourselves from the table, from the work of honesty, especially when it involves deciding “to be honest about not loving the spaces we have claimed as our own.” Hanif asks, “Who is going to be brave enough to ask where home is and seek out something else if they don’t like the answer?”

Asian American stories range wildly and it is sometimes hard to separate the lies from the truth. When I first heard the term pathological liar, I didn’t think it applied to me. But the lie does not just conceal the reality that being Asian American is not the same as being White American. The lie is that some of us grew up treated as if we are white, grew up wanting to be white with all the privileges that whiteness confers, yet know, deep down, we never can be.

The lie that I have been telling myself is that I can live without asking what it means to be Asian American. The lie that I have been telling myself is that I am full when I am not. I am hungry. My grandmother would be happy to hear it. She would tell me the dumplings are ready.

Bio: Brian is one of APANO’s 2019 Vote Fellows. He was born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii and is a first-generation Asian American, the son of two Taiwanese immigrants. He graduated from The Evergreen State College in 2016 with a Bachelors in Liberal Arts. His degree placed an emphasis on Institutional Sociology and the History of Technology. His undergraduate research involved studying ways new technologies displace traditional forms of living. He currently attends the Oregon Institute for Creative Research.

Brian’s political engagement work in Oregon started with Forward Together during the 2018 Election season where he worked as a canvasser for Reproductive and Immigration Justice. His work as a canvasser invoked his passion for civic engagement and direct action as models for participating in local forms of social justice and policy change. He hopes to continue working in and on behalf of his community, learning more about the problems that the AAPI community faces, and participating in political work grounded in grassroot and intersectional philosophy. In his spare time, he loves eating and reading whatever he can get his hands on.

APANO: Established as a 501c3 nonprofit in 2010, the Asian Pacific American Network of Oregon (APANO) is a statewide, grassroots organization uniting Asians and Pacific Islanders to achieve social justice. We use our collective strengths to advance equity through empowering, organizing and advocating with our communities. APANO’s strategic direction prioritizes four key focus areas: cultural work, leadership development, community organizing, and policy advocacy and civic engagement. Through APANO’s arts and cultural work, we create a vibrant space where artists and communities can envision an equitable world through the tool of creative expression. We strive to impact beliefs, center the voices of those most impacted and silenced, and use arts and cultural work to foster unity and vitality within our communities. Learn more about APANO on our website and read more writings by APANO members on Medium.

Descendent Threads, Part 3 of 3

Contributed by special guest artist, Lynn Yarne

A detail of the Altar

Many of my stories of Portland Old Town/Chinatown/Japantown are ones that are second- or third-hand, and it is difficult to pin chronology, objectionable happenings, and local mythology/community memory. The stories are of resilience and community, of darkness and joy, of mystery. The piece that was included in Descendant Threads is an altar to these stories. Old Town is a very haunted place, but I like to think of it as full of guiding spirits.

I am a fourth-generation Chinese Japanese American. Both of my grandmothers grew up in Old Town, nearly right across the street from each other. In times of darkness, I have found power in the stories of my predecessors: circumstances that they were dealt and sacrifices they made created exponential opportunities for me and people of my generation. My great-grandmother was a mother of four. Her husband died of infection when my grandma was young and she used her skill sets to do whatever she could to take care of her children and children in the neighborhood. She was said to be able to cook anything she could smell or taste. Her mother, thinking Western culture was the devil, prohibited Western anything – and my great-grandmother taught herself to read and write in English in addition to Cantonese. In my altar she is portrayed as the 1000 Hand Kwan Yin, a favorite deity of my grandmother, holding a book, a peach, a sewing needle.

Still from an animation inside the altar with Eva (my paternal grandmother)

Eva, my father’s mother, always laughed. From her I learned about joy and levity in life; her Chinese name meant contented moon. Fumi, my mother’s mother, taught me to work hard, listen, and gaman. In my altar they are formalized as gods, exponential love and labor, guides.

The altar piece is still in progress. It is a project that asks me to continue seeking wisdom from the world around me, to actively acknowledge pedagogy and reverence within each other’s spirit. Throughout this process, I’ve had opportunity to connect to amazing sources of inspiration, stories from Chinatown and Nihonmachi elders, mentorship from artist Chisao Hata, and Descendant Threads artists Horatio Law, Ellen George, and Roberta Wong.

Bio: Lynn Yarne is an artist and educator from Portland, Oregon. She works within animation and collage to address generational narratives and histories. She is curious about community, participatory works, magic, and rejuvenation. Lynn holds a BFA from the Rhode Island School of Design and an MAT from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. She currently makes art projects for and about the public education system.




Lynn Yarne: Stories from Nihonmachi
March 7, 2019 – May 5, 2019
at the Oregon Nikkei Legacy Center, 121 NW 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97209

Portland artist and educator Lynn Yarne explores the history and culture of Portland’s Japantown/Chinatown district through the stories of nine elders in her multi-media exhibit, Stories from Nihonmachi.

Working with family members and former Old Town residents, Yarne gathered stories, images, and auditory recordings to create a multi-media altar piece. Her work explores community, memory, and the power that comes from recognizing the strength, resilience, and sacrifice of one’s ancestors.

In conjunction with Yarne’s exhibition, Grant High School Digital Media students will present re-imagined logos from Portland Japantown businesses, sports teams and organizations of the past.

Email: info@oregonnikkei.org

More info:  www.oregonnikkei.org

Phone:  503-224-1458


Descendent Threads, Part 2 of 3

Contributed by special guest artist, Ellen George

My work included in Descendent Threads is rooted in a reverent response to the mysteries that were always part of having a lovely Chinese mom. Watching her use her elegant and enigmatic tool for counting inspired wonderment. For ABACUS, I cast seemingly countless grains of rice into oversized bead forms. But instead of aligning on a rod, they are arranged like a blossom that rests upon a coiling velvet cushion.

My mom spoke a language I could not understand, but in which she seemed her most buoyant while speaking. In making TRANSLATION, I have taken apart a Chinese-English dictionary. Using a pattern she taught me as a child, I’ve folded each page into a small boat. These 400 boats follow each other in a double spiral, out and in, across hand-drawn lines.





These red lines are the battens of a sail, latitude/longitude lines, or the lines on the pages of a calligraphy practice book.






In the surfaces of my FAN SUITE paintings I see the influence of my mother’s Chinese “dreamstones.” As a child I was transfixed by these thin slices of stone, mounted in carved hardwood frames and revealing inclusions and veining that resembled landscape.




I am fortunate to have with me now, many treasures my mom was able to bring with her to America, and that I grew up with, including her fans. The shapes I use in the on-going painting series I call FAN SUITE are based on 17th, 18th and 19th century Chinese fans. There is the tradition of these fans to depict flora and landscape, suggesting that their restorative breeze could transport us to these lovely fresh scented locations.



My great-grandfather was Rev Chan Hon Fan. As a young man he was a missionary working with the Chinese Methodist Episcopal Society along the Pacific Coast from Puget Sound to the San Francisco Bay Area,1870-1900. The Oregon Historical Society has documented a letter written by him and published in the Oregonian in 1886. It was printed in his exact words, and titled A Chinaman’s Letter.

Me in my mom’s arms

Chan Hon Fan was living and working in Portland, OR, when his daughters, my great-aunt Clara Elizabeth Chan Lee (b.1886) and my grandmother, Laura Chan Chu (b.1885), were born. As a young woman my grandmother married and joined my grandfather in his return to China. They were living in Hong Kong when my mother was born. My mom’s childhood and education were in Guangzhou and Hong Kong. She was a physician working in Guangzhou when, as she put it, “the communists walked in.” Within a few months she defected to Hong Kong, eventually making her way to Texas. I was born on Galveston Island, and I am an American-born first generation Chinese artist.

Growing up in the 1960’s, in that particular Gulf Coast community, my family was a rarity; there were no other Chinese families. I was fortunate for regular trips to Los Angeles and San Francisco, visiting grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins living there. Those Chinatowns were my first experiences of immersion in Chinese community.

In the 1990’s, I came to live in the Pacific Northwest with my own young family. Right away, I joined for a short while, a cooperative artists gallery that was located just across the street from where Portland Chinatown Museum is now. It was then I first learned from my mom that my Grandma Chu and Aunt Clara were born in Portland. What a welcome revelation to know I had such deep, personal connection, reaching far back in time, to my new home! I eventually would learn more family stories. So many were tales of displacement, running, assault, more running, loss of every kind…but always enormous resilience and service to others.

Horatio Law and Roberta Wong are among the first artists in Portland I came to know; I was captivated by one of Horatio’s early multi-media installations in the Motelhaus Portland project, 1998. A few years later Roberta curated my solo exhibit during Asian Pacific American Heritage Month at Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center. I recently had the honor to be included by Lynn Yarne in her video presented at Open Signal, Portland, “Don’t Forget Who You Are Or Where You Are From.” I am deeply grateful for connection to these artists through our exhibit together at Portland Chinatown Museum.

My mom passed away as we were installing our exhibit, Descendent Threads, and this timely coincidence has deepened a sense of longing to belong. I cannot forget her treasured objects and stories. Through the work I have developed for this exhibit I bring them forward with me into the future.

BIO: Ellen George attended Austin College, Sherman, Texas, and the National College of Art and Design, Dublin, Ireland. She has lived in Washington State over twenty-five years. Ellen has received residencies at the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, Otis, Oregon, and c3:initiative, Portland, Oregon. Her work is included in numerous collections including Portland Art Museum, Tacoma Art Museum, 4Culture and King County, Seattle Public Art, The Nines Hotel Atrium, Portland, Oregon Health and Science University, Portland, and the Collection of Jordan D. Schnitzer.

Ellen is represented by PDX CONTEMPORARY ART, Portland, Oregon. She will have a solo exhibit there in May 2019.

Descendent Threads, Part 1 of 3

Contributed by special guest artist, Roberta May Wong

Artist Roberta Wong (front right) and her siblings. “It took five girls to get one boy.” 1958

I was born the Fifth Chinese Daughter, another parental effort for a First-Born American son. My birth order enabled me to grow up learning how to exist on the fringe ­– amongst my siblings, within my community, and in American society. Hypocrisy, social injustice and gender bias were some things I was consciously aware of from an early age, but it took decades before I was able and willing to call them out.

My Confucian family life taught me that I was part of a whole, and there was order and purpose to our lives. Each person had value regardless of position, size, role or status. My Taoist perspective put our lives in context with the Universe.

As an artist, I acknowledge that we each are originals ­– individual beings obligated to be our true selves. We mix and blend materials with concepts to explore and tap our humanity. Our work as social alchemist is in creating intrinsic value within each discovery, either a revelation of self or shared universal truth. Despite social or commercial trends, it is of importance to adhere to one’s vision to find personal truth.

Recently I returned to Chinatown to participate in the second exhibition of the newly-opened Portland Chinatown Museum. Curated by Horatio Law, three Asian American women artists were selected to share their disparate paths and personal connections with Portland’s Chinatown. “Descendent Threads” exhibited Ellen George, Lynn Yarne and myself, Roberta Wong.

In addition to mutual cultural experiences, Asian Americans have experienced the history of exclusion, racism, violence, murder, social injustice, discrimination, and inequality. Much of my art addresses these social/cultural issues. With titles like Chinks, All-American, All Orientals Look Alike, and Vincent, most of my pieces, accompanied by a written artist statement, are meant to challenge the Asian American narrative. I am hoping that those who experience my pieces will feel a shared visceral response that is both disturbing and self-affirming. Our visibility makes our lives relevant to ourselves and to others.

All-American (detail), Art Installation
Braided hair, Chinese cleaver, round chopping block, stainless steel table, rubber floor mat
42.25” x 36” x 36”













Vincent, Art Installation (Detail)

Vincent, Art Installation
Steel pedestal, plastic tray, toy cars, aluminum baseball bat, plastic/marble trophy, Chinese scroll, brush pen ink.
80” x 15” x 11″













I-Ching Revolution: 101
2 foam core panels, wood, tacks, laminated photos; 64” x 48”

Artist Statement:  I-Ching Revolution: 101 visualizes social change and its manifestation through personal courage as represented by small action. When individuals consciously stand with BLACK LIVES MATTERS and “show face” against the injustices confronting our Black communities, lives will change. I invited photo submissions from the community; this simple act of “showing face” symbolizes the courage it takes to face up to social, political, and economic consequences.

Join the revolution, manifest the change.

I was honored to exhibit with two fellow women artists (note: Ellen George and Lynn Yarne will describe their art in Parts 2 and 3 of this 3-part series):

Ellen’s grandmother was born in Portland’s Old Chinatown in the late 1880s. Her grandfather, a young Chinese sojourner, returned to China with his wife where Ellen’s mother was born. In time, her mother came to the U.S. and settled in Texas where Ellen was born. It was only recently that Ellen learned of her grandmother’s connection to and family roots in Portland’s Chinatown. Her art – object-making installations and paintings – are reflective of loving memories of her mother in the comfort of familiar tools: her abacus, her fans, and her language.

Lynn recalls family visits to Chinatown as a child eating at their favorite restaurant. Her two grandmas, although living across the street from one another, recalled different lives­ – one centered in Chinatown, the other in Portland’s Japantown. Honoring the women in her life, Lynn constructed a community altar, gathering multitudes of photographs to depict a blending of her families, cultures, and histories. These became the basis for her animated video which captured the movements, sounds and stories within an enshrined space.

BIO: Born and raised in Portland, OR, Roberta Wong grew up working behind the counter and in the back kitchen of her family’s grocery and restaurant, Tuck Lung, in Portland’s Chinatown. She attended Portland State University, graduating in Sculpture in 1983. Chinatown was a part of her daily life until 1985 when she entered the nonprofit art sector as a gallery director and art administrator. She spent the next two decades promoting diversity in the arts and creating opportunities for artists-of-color.

Tuck Lung, hand-carved Philippine Mahogany panel

Recent exhibitions include Portland Chinatown Museum, Artists Repertory Theatre, and Indivisible; past exhibitions: Wing Luke Museum, Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center, Evergreen State College, Portland Community College-Sylvania Campus, Portland State University-Autzen Gallery. Her artwork is published in Where Are You From? An Anthology of Asian American Writing, Thymos, Portland, OR, 2012 (Shelf Unbound award); Myth and Ideology Study Guide: Surviving Myths, Deakin University, Australia, 1990 & 2000 and The Forbidden Stitch: An Anthology of Asian American Women Artists, published by Calyx, Corvallis, Oregon (American Book Award, 1990).

The Sato Family Legacy

Contributed by special guest writer, Marleen Wallingford

Bio:  Marleen Wallingford is a Sansei born in Portland, Oregon. She is the president of the Portland JACL and is an active volunteer in her community. Marleen retired from Portland Public Schools after nearly 30 years in education.


The Sato Family Legacy

Yoshinosuki, his wife Asano, and their four children (Lois, Marie, Shin and Roy) lived and worked on their Bethany-area farm. They also attended the nearby Bethany Presbyterian Church. It was their connection to the community that helped save their farm once their world was thrown into chaos after the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Everyone of Japanese ancestry was forced to leave the West Coast. The Sato family was incarcerated at Minidoka in Idaho. The members of the church visited them at the Portland Assembly Center and then banded together to make sure the annual property taxes on the farm were paid so the family had a home to return to after the war.

In 2017, Sato Elementary, one of Beaverton’s newest schools, was opened. Not everyone was aware that the school had been named after the Japanese American family who lived near the Bethany site in Beaverton, Oregon. This story would have been lost without the diligent efforts of Colonel Mike Howard who heard about the family from his friend, Gene Zurbrugg, who is a longtime resident of the Bethany area and was a boyhood playmate of the Sato boys. After he shared the story, Colonel Howard went to visit the school but there was no information about the family. He felt that the students and the Bethany community should be reminded of the sacrifices and hardships that the family had suffered. Both Shin and Roy joined the segregated Japanese American 442nd unit. Roy was wounded (twice) and his brother, Shin, was killed in France during the legendary battle to free the trapped Texas battalion where over 800 Nisei soldiers died while saving 211 men. Their sister, Marie, served as a volunteer military nurse for the duration of WWII.

On November 15, 2018, a special ceremony was held at the school to dedicate a chestnut tree donated by the Sato Family and a soon-to-be-constructed historical plaque. The chestnut tree is significant to the Sato family. On their farm, there was a chestnut tree whose fruit was used as a special addition to meals. Chestnuts were very special to Mrs. Sato who used them in special treats. The tree and the farm are only a memory now but if you go to Sato Elementary, the plaque there will tell the Satos’ story.

The Satos’ daughter, Lois, was the last to live on the family land. She sold part of the property to the Presbyterian Church that had treated her family so well. Years later, the church sold the plot to a developer and used the proceeds to establish the Lois Sato Memorial Mission Fund which is used for projects in Bethany and around the world.

When school names were proposed, the Bethany community overwhelmingly supported naming the school, Sato. The beautiful school is close to the original farm and across the street from where family members are buried in the Presbyterian Cemetery on Kaiser Road.